RE-STORE: Coming Back to Your Blueprint One Step at a Time (Part Two)

This post is Part Two of a three-part series exploring how we can use "healthy compartmentalization" in different situations and interactions. Each post builds on the last, contributing to a larger picture. So, while each one stands on its own, they're really designed to be read together as a cohesive whole. Part One is already available, and Part Three will be published in the next few weeks. I'd encourage you to read all three as they become available and even revisit them once the series is complete. 

In Part One, we explored what healthy compartmentalization actually is and what makes it healthy rather than avoidance. We also looked at your first opportunity to choose: choosing kindness toward yourself. If you missed it, you can catch up here. 

In this part, we’re going to get into the specific details of how to employ healthy compartmentalization, and it begins with organizing. When you recognize that you’re feeling stirred up by something or someone, you’re going to choose your very own personal preferred  organizational system. This is where you’ll temporarily store the emotions, thoughts, and physical responses. I know some of you may think of yourselves as not very organized or not organized at all. That’s okay. But that’s how you used to think of yourself because from today moving forward, that’s how you’re going to say that: “I used to think of myself as unorganized, but I’m making changes.” And you’re now going to choose a method of organization - boxes, file folders, shelving units, baskets, pegboard, magnetic strips, drawers, letter trays, whatever works for you!

I need to mention at this point that my organizational system is always on the left. This is key. I’m not a neuroscientist, but I’ve been taught and mentored (still ongoing) by those who know far more than I do in this area, and I’ve also personally experienced the benefits of this in my own healing journey and in my coaching practice. So, without diving into all the “brain science” of it, you’re going to place your method of organization on the left (in your mind/imagination). Take a moment, and set things up and see it - and even sense or feel it - on the left. Make it as real an experience right now as you can.

When your thoughts, emotions, and/or physical responses are doing something other than what you’d prefer, you’re going to take a deep breath, remind yourself of what’s true, and then you’re going to picture the thought as tangible objects and put them in the preferred equipment you chose earlier. I like to read and I like to read actual, physical books, so I use a bookshelf.

I take the triggering thought, and I put it on a shelf of my bookshelf. Or I picture the emotion I’m feeling as a tangible, physical object, and I put that object on the bookshelf. I do the same with physical sensations or responses - I picture it in my mind as a physical object and I put that object on the bookshelf.

You’ll construct your whole method of organization on the left, and then you’ll put the specific objects in your organizational system which is on the left.

Let’s try it! 

Think of a past event or circumstance that has caused you stress or upset you or caused you to feel somewhat overwhelmed. You’ll picture it as a tangible object and place it in your organizational system on the left.

And then you’ll push the whole system a little more toward the left so that it’s not only in your peripheral vision but so that it’s slightly behind you, just over your left shoulder. Not all the way behind you, but almost out of your peripheral view.

Now, take a deep breath. Take another one. Tune into you and see how you feel about that past event. You’re not taking it back out of the organizational system. It’s still in there, and it’s still very much on your left, but take stock of how you feel about it now.

If you feel lighter, not as upset or overwhelmed or you noticed even the slightest change, that’s great! That’s what you’re after!

Our minds store “past things” on the left. So, the reason you would take the thought, emotion, or physical response and store it on your left is because you’re telling your brain that it’s not a current focus, it’s in your past, and you’ll retrieve it at another time in the future when you have the time and space to address it in a healthy and helpful way. And you can stay present in the moment.

I know this may sound like a lot to do in a moment when you’re at work or driving or in a conversation with someone. You may be thinking, “I can’t excuse myself for 15 minutes to do all this!” or “I can’t zone out to focus on this!”

And you’re right. 

And you’re not entirely right!

You can practice what and how to do this when you’re not in a crucial moment. If “rehearse” is a better word for you, use that. Choose to practice or rehearse storing a thought, emotion, or physical response when you have time, when you’re feeling calm and at peace. Practice or rehearse it just like athletes practice before the big event or performers rehearse music, or lines, or stage blocking before opening night or before a concert. Athletes and performers don’t wait until the crucial moment to make sure they know what they’re doing. And so you can also practice or rehearse before “the big moment” to be sure you know what you’re doing as well.

The way you respond to things and the thoughts that you have are far more often a learned pattern than you realize. But you can shift or interrupt the pattern. You can change the way you’ve “always” responded or reacted. You have far more ability and capacity than you may realize.

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This may feel like another abrupt stopping point, but stick with me. Part Three is coming! Part Two includes a tangible tool to work with, and I'd encourage you to actually try it before Part Three arrives. Practice or rehearse building your organizational system on the left when you're calm and at peace, so that when a crucial moment comes, you're ready. While you're practicing and waiting for Part Three, if anything stirred something in you or you'd like to talk through what you're noticing in your own heart and mind, please get in touch! Send me an email or schedule some one-on-one time with me. And consider subscribing to my blog where I regularly share helpful tools and encouragement for your journey back to your blueprint!