RE-STORE: Coming Back to Your Blueprint One Step at a Time (Part One)

This post is Part One of a three-part series exploring how we can use "healthy compartmentalization" in different situations and interactions. Each post builds on the last, contributing to a larger picture. So while each one stands on its own, they're really designed to be read together as a cohesive whole. Parts Two and Three will be published over the next several weeks. I'd encourage you to read all three as they become available and even revisit them once the series is complete. 

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, and something they’re sharing about their own life is landing on a sensitive place in you? Or maybe it landed on a sensitive place that you didn’t realize existed until the other person was in the middle of sharing? How do we stay present to ourselves and to others when that happens?

We can do this by using “healthy compartmentalization.” Please notice that I said healthy compartmentalization because there are unhealthy versions of this, and that’s NOT what we want to do. What makes the version I’m talking about healthy is that it’s not a permanent state of avoidance or stuffing things down inside ourselves never to look at them again. Avoidance doesn’t bring about good and healthy things for any of us.

But sometimes you will need to temporarily push pause on the emotions, thoughts, and physical responses you’re experiencing. In these moments, you can choose to employ methods of healthy compartmentalization. Always with the intention of returning to your emotions, thoughts, and physical responses once you have the time and space to focus on yourself.

Also please notice that I said you can choose to employ methods of healthy compartmentalization because it is a choice. Yes, your emotions can be strong. Yes, your thoughts can feel louder than the person in front of you who is speaking to you. Yes, your body can begin to physically react in ways you don’t want it to in certain moments. AND you can choose to focus on those things and allow them to entirely consume you - mentally, emotionally, physically - or you can choose to stay present and connected to yourself and to God. You have far more ability and capacity in these situations than you may believe. 

So, let’s first look at your ability to choose. As I said, your emotions, thoughts, and physical responses can start to feel as though they are in control of you rather than you having authority over them. Think of these three - emotions, thoughts, physical responses - like the indicator light on the dashboard of your car. The check engine light comes on. The light isn’t the problem. You can ignore the light or put a piece of black tape over the light, but that doesn’t solve the issue in your vehicle’s engine. The deeper issue or concern still exists. It works the same way with you. Your thoughts, emotions, and physical responses are indicators to an issue or concern that is somewhere deeper inside you. It could be as deep as in your early childhood or yesterday or five minutes ago.

Just like ignoring the light on the car dashboard doesn’t ultimately address the issue, ignoring your responses to what is provoking you doesn’t ultimately address the issue either. And when the check engine light comes on in your car, getting angry with your car and telling it how stupid it is or saying “Why can’t you just get it together?” or “Why do you need so much attention?” doesn’t ultimately address the issue. Neither does talking to yourself that way or even thinking those thoughts about yourself.

So, your first opportunity to choose is to choose kindness toward yourself. If you don’t already do something like this, I encourage you to begin changing your language (internal thoughts and/or how you actually speak to yourself).

This is the furthest you've ever been, the most you've ever known, and most likely the most healing you've experienced. Past you did the best you could with what you had. 

Pause a moment, take a deep breath in, exhale slowly, and say this to yourself, “This is the furthest I've ever been. This is the most I've ever known. This is the most healed I've been. Past me did the best I could with what I had.”

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This may feel like an abrupt stopping point, but I promise there's more coming! I'm intentionally pausing here to give each piece of this series room to breathe because taking time to really digest each part will bring about more lasting results than rushing through all at once. While you're processing and waiting for Part Two, if anything stirred something in you or you'd like to talk through what you're noticing in your own heart and mind, please get in touch! Send me an email or schedule some one-on-one time with me. And consider subscribing to my blog where I regularly share helpful tools and encouragement for your journey back to your blueprint!